For 2 months I was trying to be an amazing person. I was trying to give service to someone and help take care of his/her needs (and learn to love them and forgive/forget). I was also trying to write and participate in critique groups at the same time.
I soon learned that while helping someone can make a difference to them, sometimes it can also take a huge toll on you.
The person I was helping, while grateful at first, soon became extremely needy--Extremely!!
This person would try to encourage me to write. So I said "I'm going to do a small sprint right now, do you have everything you need? Are you ok for a few minutes?" the reply would always be "Yes, go write! It's important and I don't want you to get behind!" But then, no fail, a few minutes into the sprint, I would be called back for something ridiculous or unimportant.
I began to realize that this person actually was calling me back because they didn't like that my attention was given to other things and not just them. They became very, very, very needy of my attention.
My writing time dwindled, my writing itself started being non-existent, and I started becoming very short tempered. This person had the ability to things on his/her own - but wouldn't because they knew I was there and would rather call me to do it so as to get my attention.
After 2 months of this I was at my limit. I was getting nothing done - at all - with my writing .... actually nothing at all period!! Both me and my husband were giving up ridiculous amounts of time and energy for this person and we were simply running out of the ability to give any more. We have used up our supply of compassion, service, and patience.
We decided that although we loved this person dearly, we could no longer give up everything for him/her. So we had to let others help in our stead, and back quietly out of their immediate lives.
Well, thinking on this experience kind of made me nervous. One day, I am going to have children .... And those children are going to be needy and demand my attention ....
Don't get me wrong - I do want kids, and everyone says that caring for your own child is different than caring for anyone else. I am fully willing to believe that. But how do you get anything done with someone so needy in tow?
Seriously - how do you write with children?
Please post a comment and let me know - I may need it in the future ....